2024 01 07 - Circle

At the moment, when I find myself saying "If I have the time to do so", that's often not what I really mean. Time is an important factor, of course - there are only so many things one can do in a day (and fewer still if those things don't include "photography at night"). What's become increasingly clear over the past ~8 months is that while yes, time is something I need more of... My using time as an excuse or reason for doing (or not doing, or not having done) things is a little disingenuous.

Have I been unable to go outside with my camera since August mainly due to there being no sun left after I finish work? Yes. Am I likely overworking myself trying to make sure I finish my freelance work as quickly as possible and before the weekend comes around, but then doing so much that I'm left without energy enough to do anything when the weekend finally arrives? Also probably yes. Would I have gone outside at all these past few months if I hadn't been working? That may be a bigger question than you'd expect, and not one I can answer here in full.

To my eyes, I've taken a step back ability-wise since last summer. In a way I guess that's to be expected; 3 months without picking up a camera, concentrating on everything but that. I was enjoying taking pictures, and I was enjoying (some of) the pictures I was taking. But... Now? The pictures I've taken have no light. No life. Is this all in my head? Is it down to looking at professional phographers' work and unfairly comparing their own to mine? How do I - how does one - get to a point where I'm pleased with what I make? Is this a feeling all creatives experience? How should I value what I create if I can't see value in it? If I don't, would anyone? If nobody would... Is there a point in carrying on?

That answer is obvious, isn't it. Of course you should. Of course I should. So the last few times I've done anything relating to photography have been a wash. Will the next time? Sure, it might, but... It also might not. I might take one of my favourite pictures of all time. I might learn something I only ever would have learned in that instant. Besides. There's always more Gear to Acquire to give myself a nudge.

Sorry for all that - here's some pictures to thank you for wading through it all.